Rain
by Taya
Summary: Angst...more angst...whatever. I was like on an all time low when I wrote this...Kathryn is in the holodeck thinking about her crew on their last night on Voyager...Very sad, I cried when I wrote it. But there's a happy ending. ^__^


Inner Sadness

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns them.You know that just by looking at the storyline.If I owned them, J/C would have gotten together a long time ago.

Kathryn sat in the rain and let the tears come.They streamed down her face, and she made no movement to wipe them.

The only thing moving then was her small, frail-seeming body, racking with sobs.

She cried for the journey that was ending, for the friendships that would be broken because of this, for the people who otherwise might have hated each other.

She was proud of herself.But she also hated herself.It was so obvious.She had brought them together and she was tearing them apart.

The woman who was the Captain sat and allowed herself to get drenched.Drenched in the rain that came down just as quickly and uncontrollably as her tears.Though this was just holographic rain, she felt it; it chilled her to the bone as she sat there and let her composure, her dignity, and her structure, crumble.

She was happy.Not REALLY, truly happy, but happy.She thought of all those who would be happy, whom she had made happy.

Ensign Harry Kim.Fresh from Starfleet, he was the epitome of the perfect officer.He knew all the protocol.He knew when to break protocol, when to enforce it, when to be an officer and when to be a person.He was the one who was young and naïve.The one who wanted to go home, to see his family, the most.Family.Home.Two words she'd never really get completely.

Lieutenant Commander Tuvok.The Vulcan who had started out as her oldest, best friend, the one who was supposed to infiltrate the Maquis ship.Ah, the Maquis.

Lieutenant Tom Paris, the helmsman with the horrid prison record.Despite her tears, the frail woman smiled lopsidedly, just a little, at the boy who'd become a man in the short time he'd served under her.He'd gotten morals, responsibilities.He had a wife, a child on the way.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres.The half-Klingon, half-Human hybrid that was Tom's wife.She had a compassionate side to her, but also fought to keep oppressed the Klingon, the more violent side of her that was provoked by every little thing.She'd learned to love, love as a friend and love as a wife.

Commander Chakotay.She sighed.The Maquis Captain of the ship she'd been chasing, she'd been ordered to hunt down.The one who held her heart, deny it though she would.Hmm.He was an interesting one.Human though he was, he was DEFINITELY not among the ones who looked forward to getting back to earth the most, and it was understandable.Earth was not really his home.It wasn't Kathryn's anymore, really, either.

Seven of Nine.Ah, Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct Unimatrix One and all that junk that no one cared about anymore.She'd been rescued from the Borg, or recovered, rather.She didn't have a home, unless she considered _Voyager_ to be her home.Which was likely.She was human-part human, at least, if you considered having cortical implants and such human.The woman thought of Seven of Nine, Seven for short, as her protégé, her daughter of sorts.She'd come to accept and nurture her humanity, and through that she-NO.Kathryn would not think about it.She wouldn't think about those kinds of things.

Who else?Oh yes.Neelix.Their Talaxian chef and guide through the Delta Quadrant, and also the Morale Officer, with the queerest sense of humor.Kathryn wondered what HE would do back on earth.Probably just take his ship out and go back to the Delta Quadrant or something like that.He certainly did not belong on earth.

And-no, she mustn't forget the Doctor.The Doctor, the EMH who had become almost human when the CMO was lost during their little trip to the Delta Quadrant.Though he was not human, most of the crew saw him as human and treated him like one.But he was a hologram, most likely to be picked apart when they got back.But no one would likely allow that.Despite his estranged sense of humor, the Doctor would probably be defended by the crew to the point where Starfleet would get tired of it and let him...they supposed Starfleet would just let him do what he wanted.

That was about it, they were the ones that mattered most to her.Oh, but she forgot something.She forgot...herself.How could she do such a thing, you ask?Perhaps she had neglected herself when she had thrown all of her mind, body, and soul into helping the crew to get home.But perhaps they were wrong.Perhaps _Voyager_ was their home._Voyager_.Yes, that was it.

_Voyager_ was their home.The ship that had housed them, seen them through thick and thin.It made sense to the point where even Tuvok would not be able to concur in the slightest.It had housed them, nourished them.Yet it seemed strange to be considering a STARSHIP their home.But it was logical.

The woman's tears finally ceased to exist.They stopped, and she realized that _Voyager_ was her home, the crew her family.And nothing would change that.As if the holodeck was glad she had finally come to the correct solution and the best resolution, the rain stopped with her tears and the sun came out.

She ended the program and exited the holodeck, her composure back, her back straight, and her step sure.She was home already; there was no need to search any longer.

Family surrounded her, living in her home, and at long last sure that she could face whatever Fate chose to tempt her with or throw in her face.

**_She was home._**

It was angsty, I know.But at least it had a happy ending! ^_^

I'm sorry.I was feeling kinda weird when I started and my fingers did the writing, not me.Anyway, review.This is my first angst piece; please don't be too hard on me.Thank you! ^^


End file.
